A friend came to me asking advice about some drama happening to and around her in Second Life and in the process of talking about what was happening she said this to me:

“You know, I’m just a woman, just playing a computer game, trying to be creative and crack wise with my friends... I never meant for things to get so out of hand. People in RL would NEVER treat me the way I have been treated, and I would have no cause to sink to such low behavior.”

People forget there are other PEOPLE on the other side of the screen. Our sense of self is so exposed that we are super sensitive to any comment or action. Like a rubber ball, an action is shot out, bouncing off of someone getting fired back and forth, gathering up all the negativity and anger growing bigger and bigger until real damage is done.

“I never meant for things to get so out of hand”

I won’t pretend to be immune from this. Just yesterday I got an IM from someone that was condescending and I felt entitled to bark and defend my position so I lunged out and acted totally out of character and with venom. About 30 minutes later I stopped and though “damn! I am so out of line” So I responded again, with care and sensitivity… I apologized for my words, admitted I was wrong and agreed to correct the problem. I got another IM back apologizing as well for the tone of the original IM… we were both suffering from not remembering there is a person on the other side of the screen. This situation could have blown up to catastrophic proportions, but it didn’t because of communication and care.

Back to my friend asking for advice…

After a good bit of floundering for a few good words to give her I finally spat these out:

“Sometimes peace means you have to sacrifice yourself… lay it all out... admit mistakes... ask for forgiveness… and resolve to change... and stick to it”

Lay it all out: make your perceptions clear, share your feelings and explain your actions.

Admit to mistakes: apologize for anything you regret, such as your actions, words chosen and tone used.

Ask forgiveness: Seriously, ask for it, be accountable. It will make you feel better.

Resolve to change: Spell out how you want to change and what you intend to do to make things right to the other person; this will let them know you are serious.

STICK TO IT! Nothing will undermine your credibility more than not following through with what you say you will do.

And lastly:

Acceptance: We can not control how others will act or react. If you follow the above suggestions and you are still met with drama and spite… let it roll off your back, just let it go. You have done your part to make things better; you have made yourself accountable. If the other person wants to harbor venom and negative feelings towards you, let them. Treat every single person you meet with dignity and respect and you will be respected and treated with dignity.

If you are neck deep in drama it might take a while to see results, but it will happen, I promise.

Your result for What kind of cat are you quiz?...

Thinker

54% Watcher, 47% Hunter, 38% Fighter, 57% Thinker, 56% Cuddler and 48% Mystery!

The world is a place to be considered and figured out. The people in the world provide great mysteries for you to puzzle through and figure out. You are not content to simply watch and wait, nor do you react suddenly, your actions are tempered with thought and understanding.

Take What kind of cat are you quiz? at HelloQuizzy

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Your result for The LONG Scientific Personality Test...

INFP - the Healer

You scored 27% I to E, 37% N to S, 10% F to T, and 58% J to P!

You are more introverted than extroverted. You are more intuitive than observant, you are more feeling based than thinking based, and you prefer to go with the flow rather than having a plan. Your type can best be summarized by the word "Healer", which belongs to the larger group of idealists. You have a capacity for caring that is deeper than most. You strive for unity, are fascinated by the battles between good and evil, and can be something of an idealist. Only 1% of the population shares your type.

As a romantic partner, you are usually supprtive and nuturing, however, you have a high need for individuality. Harmony is extremely important to you as you are very affected by conflict and tension, which also makes you resist confronting your partner directly about problems. When you get angry, you usually blame yourself, rather than your partner. You can also be stubborn and unyielding when you feel you are being criticized or mistreated. You feel the most appreciated when your partner listens to you carefully. You need to be understood. You need to hear your partner express their feelings, the more often, the better.
Your group summary: idealists (NF)

Your type summary: INFP

Take The LONG Scientific Personality Test at HelloQuizzy

I read Wildstars blog today and was over come with tears. He wrote of guardian angels:


there are moments when one feels lonely, sad, lost, miserable. there are these moments ... no way to avoid them

yet, if you looks carefully, these are the moments when you notice them most: they can look very different: rich and poor, wise and fools, nobles and commoners, princesses and clerics, humans and elfs, nekos and fairies, vampires and mermaids, shy and naughty

they act in very different ways: with a message or an email, a call or a smile, a comment, a pat on the shoulder or they offer their shouder. They do not let you sink, they force you on your feet, they make you talk, they make you vent, they make you come out of your hideouts, and doing so you are lost no more

I have so often felt lost and alone where all I wanted to do was crawl into a dark hole and never come out. I think we all have these moments in life, but then someone comes and offers your their hand to help you up out of that hole and reminds you that you are safe and loved and needed.

So I want to take a moment to thank my guardian angels, my friends and loved ones and sometimes even the occasional stranger. Thank you for all the times when you have helped me out of the shadows. I will never forget those moments of kindness and I will always be there with a hand, a shoulder and a firm word of encouragement for you as well.

I love you all.

lost 5 pounds this week! YAY!!!

I have updated the style of my blog to match the Winterfell NING and and the official Winterfell Website...

You can check them out if you like.

Winterfell NING
Winterfell Website

My human started a diet on Sunday after she had a HUGE scare with her left foot... it just swelled up... no reason, no pain, no heat, no nothing other than swollen foot.

Good thing is that she finally decided to do something about her declining health and aging body... better late than never, right?

Your result for The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test...

The Lady

Chaste and pure, you are a good person. You try to help others and do your duty to your family. However, this duty involves you being sold off to a local noble house in order to cement relations between your families. But you know it's for a greater good, and besides you will retain all the comforts and glamour of your position regardless of if you're your father's or you husband's property.

Take The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test at HelloQuizzy

Final count for the 2008 Boobie Ball :

$L247,903 after being matched by both Eva and myself that's $L743,709 or over $2,700 USD!! raised for breast cancer research!

This event was such a thrilling and rewarding event for Eva and myself, that we will be doing the Boobie Ball again next year as well as forming a "Saving Second Base" SL RFL team and sim.

So to that end, I have started up a group called "Saving Second Base" there is a 100L membership fee, but all money raised from membership fees will be donated to breast cancer research. Please consider joining the group to help us make these events as successful as they can be, or to simply show your support for this very important cause!

Humbly yours,
Miss Serra Anansi, Senecshelf of Winterfell and Her Grace, Eva, Duchess of Loch Avie






::LIST OF DONORS - THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND SEE YOU NEXT YEAR::

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